More Than a Memory
by kikudog6
Summary: Callie has spent 18 months in Afghanistan as a combat medic and returns home with gruesome memories that ruthlessly plague her thoughts. After two years, she finally decides to seek help from a therapist. One that just happens to be an obscenely hot blonde who she just can't get off her mind.
1. Intros and Psychics

Patient Files

Name: Calliope Iphegenia Torres

Diagnosis: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Background: Patient has completed an 18 month tour in Afghanistan in the army as a combat medic approximately two years ago, and has been in the States since. Demonstrates common symptoms of PTSD such as anxiety, flashbacks, and nightmares. Has little to no recollection of what seems to be the most grisly of her memories in the war. Previously abused alcohol as a coping mechanism after her return, though is now six months sober.

Therapist's comments: She is somewhat reserved during sessions, however is beginning to become more comfortable with me. Although she is still quite opposed to sharing memories for long, and avoids any mention or attempt of remembering what we refer as "that memory."

_ …_

_The scorching sun hangs low in the sky. Fiery rays paint it a myriad of dark hues with vibrant splashes of orange. A stifling breeze brushes past the small group of soldiers, as a set of snipers lie low, shrouded by a small crowd of bushes. _

_ Callie anxiously chews on the inside of her cheek as the seconds drag by. Dusk threatens to swallow the squad as nightfall quickly approaches, a deceptively calm silence drifting in its wake. _

_ And that's when she heard it. The first shot. _

_ … _

"Morning Calliope." Dr. Robbins greets her first patient of the day. "How was your day?"

"Well I've been awake for approximately 45 minutes so..."

Arizona busily writes in her notebook, "And how does that make you _feel_?"

"Um, tired." Callie raises an eyebrow.

A long hum sounds from the blondes throat as she contemplates the reply, "And do you think that something in your childhood may have sparked this?"

A long silence stretches between the two until Callie finally cracks, and a small chuckle fills the room. "Well now that you mention it," she plays along with their usual game. After their first session- where Callie clearly addressed her animosity towards the cliché heart-to-heart conversation between therapist and patient- Arizona made a point to begin each of their meetings with such discussions.

"So is it safe to say that it's been an alright morning so far?" Arizona ventures, breaking character.

"I've had worse."

"Any nightmares?"

A tense sigh whispers past Callie's lips. "Yeah." She replies softly.

"About that-"

"No. It was just the usual stuff." The brunette runs her hands through her hair- a nervous habit she just couldn't shake. And let's just pretend that Arizona's eyes didn't linger on the latina as a rush of ebony locks spill over her face. Because that would be completely unprofessional.

"Care to share?" Although it's phrased as a question, both know it's more of a request. It was all a part of her exposure therapy, where by reliving the gruesome memories, Callie learned how to gain control of her emotions and thoughts about the traumatizing experiences.

Another sigh rattles Callie's lungs. "It was the first time I ever saw someone shot." She begins nervously. "We were dealing with a sniper that had been messing with us for a while. I really didn't even need to be there but..." Her voice gradually fades until she abruptly continues. "The guys and I were lying low by his hideout, at least that's what we thought it was. And that's when Mark shot him."

A short silence passes until Arizona gives Callie a reassuring nod to continue.

"Um," the brunette squirms in her seat. "There was a lot more blood than I expected- and it was a clean shot too, right between the eyes." Her words now come out in a rushed slur as she tries to hurry through the disturbing memory. "And then his wife and kid came running out. It wasn't his hideout." she clenches the arm of the sofa in a merciless grip. "The woman was silent, it was... unnerving. She didn't move, she didn't cry, she just stood there as if she was waiting to awaken from a nightmare. And then she screamed. God, I'll never forget those screams. And the boy, who couldn't have been more than ten, just stood there and-"

"Callie." Arizona's voice wrenches her from the memory. "It's okay." She says gently, seeing her beginning to get lost in the flashback.

Calliope suddenly becomes aware of the trickle of tears sliding silently down her cheek, and she brusquely swipes at them with a trembling hand. "It was his house." she persists, "I swear, we didn't know; it was miles from the nearest town." She urges with pleading eyes.

"I know." Arizona reassures her, "You know I'm not here to judge you."

Suddenly feeling like a child being comforted over a skinned knee, Callie bites her lip in embarrassment.

"Hey, there's no shame in crying. Besides, you did great." Arizona gives her a good-natured grin. "Seriously."

Callie's lips quirk into a smile, "Dude, you're doing that freaky mind-reading stuff again." She declares partly to change the subject and partly because it seriously was freaky.

"You know, I can teach you how I do it." Arizona raises a challenging eyebrow paired with a smirk.

Callie rolls her eyes, "Alright." Sarcasm drips from the simple response.

"I can."

"Okay, go for it Yoda."

Arizona snorts as if someone tried to tell her the sky was green, "Yoda can't read minds."

A blank stare hangs on Callie's face.

"I mean he could use mind control on people if he wanted, and can use telepathy, but-"

This time it's Callie's turn to snort in amusement.

"What?"

"You know this because..."

Arizona shrugs, "What can I say, I'm a kid at heart."

"Okay Kiddo, how do you do that weird-ass mind thingy?"

Arizona abruptly gazes at Callie as if the meaning of life lay hiding beneath Callie's own caramel skin. The brunette gnaws on her bottom lip while impossibly blue eyes pierce her very being. Suddenly feeling exposed, Callie rakes a hand through her hair- 'she's really got to stop doing that.' Arizona thinks. As time drags on, a deep silence envelopes the pair, and the sudden crescendo of Arizona's voice makes Callie flinch.

"Nah." Her previously steely features crack as a mischievous smirk forms.

Callie's eyebrows scrunch in confusion, "Excuse me?"

"You still have much to learn young grasshopper."

Further bewilderment crosses the brunette's face until she quickly remembers her past request. "You're not going to teach me the mind thing?"

"Nah." A laugh fights to escape Arizona as Callie stares open-mouthed at the blonde.

However soon a childish pout settles over her face and she retorts, "Fuck you."

Laughter bubbles from the impish therapist. "Sorry Kiddo."

**Any takers? This my first GA multi-chap fic, so tell me if I'm a little off with the characterization (aside from the circumstances in the story.) Or just feel free to tell me what you think in general. **

** Peace out. **


	2. Pugs and Insomnia

A murmur of voices spew from the flat screen mounted in Callie's living room. Her eyelids droop as she glances at her phone's home screen. A heavy sigh rushes past her lips as she notes it's only half past two a.m.

As a yawn fights to claw it's way through, she swiftly drowns it in a sip of coffee. Once again, she tries to focus on the sit-com flitting across the television, but hardly makes it to the punchline when she begins to nod off.

Other than the television, a desk lamp shines pitifully in the modest-sized apartment. Callie redirects her gaze to the small burst of light, praying that its artificial rays will shelter her from the treacherous grasp of sleep.

Although less frequent, these nights of self-imposed insomnia always seemed endless. Despite the raw reddened eyes and the overwhelming exhaustion that greeted her in the morning, Callie truly believed it was all worth it if she avoided the memories. Her father constantly urged her to continue her prescription pills for such nights, however the medication only seemed to make the nightmares more vivid.

She forcefully digs her nails into her palm as sleep threatens to drag her into its deceptively welcoming vice. Yet again she gazes towards the flickering screen, where the Full House theme song rings from the speakers.

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go,

There's a heart,

A hand to hold on to,

Everywhere-

_A volley of bullets surge through the air, raining on the soldiers in a flood of carnage. Sand whirls in a chaotic dance beneath their feet, engulfing both ally and foe. _

_ A sharp thud is easily swallowed by the pandemonium as Callie slams against the jeep after a pair of bullets careen past her. Her finger taps lightly on the rifle while she counts the seconds. _

_ 1,2,3,4,5-_

_ With one sharp exhalation she springs to her feet and one finger twitches on the trigger. The piercing crack of the gun rings in her ears until she hears the screams. _

Jagged breaths strike throughout the apartment as Callie jolts awake. Each gasp a deafening staccato in the relatively silent room. Her heart stumbles frantically in its ivory cage, as if still trying to escape the haunting memory.

Callie's fingers rake through her hair until she's gripping clumps of ebony while her elbows rest against her knees. With her eyes clenched shut, she forces her breaths to steady until she's finally able to hear the remnants of a commercial.

With one last sigh, she jerks her head towards her phone. 3:02 a.m. Without another thought, she springs to her feet and quickly throws a jacket on with her phone and keys in hand, before walking out.

As she exits her apartment, she's vaguely aware of the light thrum of rain sprinkling around her. Five minutes into her stroll, a bewitching serenity creeps into her mind, smothering any trace of the tragic memory.

She counts each step while her shoes splash in a rhythmic beat against the gum-spattered cement. 184, 185, 186, 18-

"Callie?"

189, 190, 1-

"Callie!" The woman in question scans the area for the voice, until she sees a fellow pedestrian heading towards her.

Callie squints through the dim streetlights at the familiar figure; a wave of blonde hair showing through the hood of her navy rain jacket. "Arizona?"

"What are you doing out here?" The therapist questions as she catches up to the brunette.

"I could ask you the same thing." She replies, hoping to avoid an impromptu session about her nightmare.

"Well this one just happens to love walks whenever he feels up for it. No matter what time it is." She gestures towards the ground, and Callie suddenly takes notice of the black pug curiously sniffing her ankle.

"I didn't know you had a dog." Callie crouches to give him a much appreciated rub, "What's his name."

"Pepper; he jut turned three actually." Arizona comments with a small smile lining her features as Callie pets the pug. However it soon morphs into a frown when she notices the bags ringing Callie's eyes. "You neve answered my question though. I take it you're not out here for the lovely weather." Callie blows out a strained sigh as she straightens into a standing position. "Nightmares?"

A tense silence passes until she finally mutters, "I couldn't sleep."

Arizona lets the seconds drag by, allowing Callie time to elaborate if need to be. However she soon realizes that the brunette wanted to just leave it at that. "Don't worry, we don't have to talk about it now."

Callie visibly relaxes, "Cool." She flashes a timid smile, and Arizona's eyes can't help but trace and retrace the tiny grin, as if etching the image into her brain. "So..." Callie's voices snaps Arizona out of her trance.

"So..." Arizona echoes, suddenly desperate for their kind-of conversation to continue. "How about this weather?" She internally groans at the lame attempt at small talk.

Callie snorts at the comment, "Please tell me you didn't just say that."

"Uh," An embarrassingly rosy blush creeps to her cheeks. "let's just pretend I didn't."

"Well it's a bit chilly." Callie shrugs while taking note of Arizona's questioning stare. "The weather, it's a bit chilly."

"Oh." Arizona fiddles with Pepper's leash, suddenly fascinated by the simple pattern covering it. "Yeah."

"Woah, you're killing me with this brilliant vocabulary." Callie replies with a teasing smile.

"Hey, I can't help it." Arizona's heart stutters at her words.

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"Because...it's like three in the morning... so yeah."

"Alright then Sleeping Beauty, I'll let your disgraceful conversational skills slide this time."

"Thanks." Arizona mutters, waiting for her invisibility powers to kick in in hopes of rescuing her from her utter mortification.

Callie can't help but chuckle at the blonde's reddening cheeks, "Don't mention it. But I think Pepper is ready for a little beauty rest too." She eyes the pug straining against the leash.

"Oh yeah." Arizona jumps at an opportunity to escape her awkwardness. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yup." The blonde is already on her way by the time Callie replies.

**Phew. For some reason the last couple lines took forever to write. But any who, hope you guys liked it. And thanks so much for the reviews! **

** Also I know this chapter's flashback was supre short and vague, but I'll elaborate in future chapters about what happened. **


	3. Fires and Pencils

The natural hustle and bustle of Seattle seeps through the windows of Dr. Robbins' office, muffled honks filling the silence between the therapist and patient. Arizona studies the hastily applied foundation slathered over the dark bags ringing the latina's eyes.

"Keep going." The blonde's voice breaks through Callie's stupor.

Callie's head jerks towards Arizona, as if suddenly remembering where she is. "Right." she gathers her thoughts with a heavy sigh. "The wife just kept screaming and screaming, and the boy just stared. He didn't even cry." Arizona's lips twist into a frown at how eerily detached Callie's voice is. "And then we left." Brown eyes meet blue for a moment, before refocussing on the window.

"And that was the only dream you had last night?" Arizona clarifies.

"Yeah." She replies without a second of hesitation.

Arizona studies her once more until she finally replies gently, "Hey, I can't help if-"

"I'm fine, okay?" Callie snaps, "Just... drop it." Her voice is suddenly exhausted.

"Callie-"

The latina's mind begins to wander before the blonde can get her to open up.

_Anguished screams shred the air while the battle rages on. _

"...you with me?"Arizona's brows draw together in concern as a tortured glint flashes in Callie's eyes.

She's silent for a moment, before whispering. "I'm fine."

"Callie," Arizona tries again, though yet again she's interrupted.

"Please." Her face contorts into a pained desperation as she breathes out the plea.

The blonde digs her teeth into her bottom lip until she finally relents. "Okay." Callie's body visibly relaxes. "But you're kinda paying me to talk to you, so what do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me something you've never told anyone else before." Callie blurts after a few seconds of contemplation.

A bemused expression crosses Arizona's face "What?"

"Well you already know a lot about me, but all I know about you is your name and that you have a dog."

"And that I can read minds."

A fleeting smile lines Callie's lips. "Right. So now it's your turn to tell me about your life."

"Fair enough." She searches through her memories for a worthy story. "Oh I got one." Callie nods for her to continue. "When I was in fifth grade we were working on some project that required coloring. So there I was coloring away when my colored pencil point broke. So when I go to sharpen it in the electric sharpener I realize too late that the pencil was a little on the short side."

Arizona pauses, taking in the latina's amused gaze. "Keep going." Callie urges.

"And when I put the pencil in the sharpener, I saw that there was no way I could take it out because it was too short. So in my panicking ten year old mind I thought it was a good idea to just run away from the crime scene. Then about five minutes later someone tells the teacher about the sharpener, but I guess no one saw me because she didn't call me out. So I think I'm in the clear, until the teacher keeps questioning the class asking who did it and to just come clean and they wouldn't get in trouble. By that point I decided to just keep quiet because I was embarrassed. And if that wasn't bad enough, the teacher decided to keep us inside during recess until the person came forward. Long story short I was the reason my class had to stay in for recess and they never found out who left that pencil in the sharpener."

Callie's silent for a moment, clearly trying to suppress her amusement though her efforts prove to be for naught as she ultimately succumbs to a wave of laughter. "Alright I was expecting a heart-wrenching tale of infidelity or petty robbery. But instead you tell me how you were 'that kid' in elementary school?"

"What can I say. It's been gnawing at my conscience for a while."

"And you never told anyone?"

"It was a traumatizing experience!" Arizona protests, trying to fight off a wave of laughter herself.

"So did you break the sharpener?"

"I actually can't remember."

"So not only did you defile school property and punish your entire fifth grade class, but you couldn't even be bothered to care what happened later." Callie eyes Arizona.

A teasing smile plays on the blonde's face when she replies,"Well now you know I'm also a bit of a badass."

A bark of laughter falls from Callie's lips, "Oh no, I could already tell from your dog's menacing puppy dog eyes."

Before Arizona can respond, a piercing shriek erupts throughout the building while flashing lights dance across the corridors. Callie's body immediately stiffens as her mind shatters into a panicked frenzy.

Arizona's heart stutters, until she recognizes the shrill clamor as the fire alarm. Her eyes dart to her patient, who sits rigidly against the sofa. Shallow, ragged breaths shake her lungs, and her eyes stare unseeing towards the window; trapped in a memory.

"Calliope." Arizona hurries towards the latina, and gently lays a hand on her shoulder. Callie flinches under the touch and Arizona can hear people filing down the hallway. "It's only a frie alarm. You're safe, I promise." Callie's hands tremble as she mercilessly clenches them into fists, dulled nails digging into flesh. "It's okay." Arizona's hand softly rubs against the brunette's tense shoulder. "You're safe."

Callie's eyes suddenly dart to Arizona, before she quickly scans the room and her gaze ultimately settles on the blonde. "A fire alarm?" Her voice is strained.

Arizona nods with a relieved smile, "Yup."

Callie heaves a few steadying breaths. "A fire alarm." she echoes, suddenly self-aware and a rush of blood storms her cheeks. "Right." She mumbles, woodenly standing up and silently making her way out of the building.

Arizona pulls her sweater tighter to her as a crisp breeze whispers past her while she exits her office. She catches bits and pieces of surrounding conversation, and surmises the alarm to have gone off from one of her co-workers burning their lunch in the break room. However she pays little attention. Instead she keeps her gaze focused on Callie who tries to escape the growing crowd.

"Callie." Arizona calls, but the latina only seems to quicken her pace at he sound of her name. Though she doesn't make it far when Arizona lightly grasps her wrist, and repeats "Callie."

The brunette snatches her hand from the blonde's as if the touch scalded her. "I gotta go." she mutters, ready to walk away.

"Our session's not over yet. And we should talk about what just happened."

A shadow of the memory passes through Callie's eyes, until a quick shake of her head erases any signs of it. "I gotta go." She repeats, this time she's able to escape.

**I'm **_**really**_** sorry for the long wait guys. I had some major writer's block for this chapter and it took a while to finally figure out how to end it. I'm also sorry that all my chapters are pretty short, but I'm working on making them longer. **

** *offers cookies to make up for my sins***

** I have a pretty good idea of what's going on in the next chapter though! What'd you guys think of this one though? **


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